Day 465

There was a point in my service when 27 months seemed daunting. Sure, there was an end date on paper, but September of 2026 did not seem real; it was just so far away. Having made it to month 15 (and also finding out we can leave a month early if we want to), the end of my Peace Corps service is actually a real thing. As exciting as that is, I often catch myself doing or acting a certain way that, sitting down to draft this blog post, made me think about how I have changed during my 15 months in Tonga thus far. I don’t know how I will react to getting my first 40-hour-a-week job back in America. I don’t know how I will react to having structure to my everyday life. And I don’t know how I will react to craving something, then, you know, going and getting whatever the hell it is I am craving… like deli meat! Or a pickle! But, I remember when I first came to Tonga, I wrote my “why I want to be here” statement to myself, which I think I will read sometime before I finish my time here. I remember I wanted to have a newfound appreciation for the mundane. I miss the mundane. I like my life here, it’s cool. In fact, it’s really cool. But if I said I didn’t lie in bed four times a week and dream about going to a basketball game and buying a hot dog, I would be lying.

The future vs. the present

There’s no shortage of downtime in Tonga. Sitting down with a few toko’s in silence is quality time. Kava circles can go til 4am. Sometimes a kaokao tahi turns into a mohe tahi. There was a long while when my downtime, my time where I was doing seemingly nothing but relaxing, would be a time my brain would drift to America. What school would I work for? What type of apartment will I live in? How do I transfer my teaching license from Arkansas to Missouri? While those thoughts are definitely valid concerns, quite frankly, who gives a shit at this current moment in time? I’m an avid worrier, and with that pairs my other talent, overthinking. I never feel better after I think about those things. I’ve been channeling those thoughts elsewhere, and I tend to think about other things these days. Should I go fishing at the lagoon or the ocean? Should I eat papaya or pineapple for breakfast tomorrow? What is the Tongan word for chess? And besides, America’s on fire right now, I’m happy to be on my little rock.

Loneliness

Surprise, surprise. Something I have heavily struggled with, more so as time has gone on, is intense feelings of loneliness. I love my village. I love my community. I love my students. But, something that I, and I’m sure many PCV’s before me have felt, is the longing for a connection with another volunteer(s). I like the other volunteers I’ve shared an island with over the last year, they’re cool, but I rarely see them, and even less often do I spend more than a few minutes with them. Lack of friendship with the other PCV’s I think, did weigh on me emotionally. Sometimes a fella just wants to speak some English and talk about nonsense, like deli meat! Or pickles!

That’s my graph. I hit my “MST slump,” which again, is something many other volunteers have experienced in the past. The sharp incline in the last few months is thanks in part to getting a few volunteers near me. I really like the new volunteers. I would call them all friends. Something I greatly value is quality relationships, and I look forward to spending more time with these tokos.

Extending?

A standard Peace Corps service is 27 months in total. Three months of training, two years of service. However, a volunteer is welcome to, in fact, they are encouraged to, extend their service. I learned about this recently at my MST conference. There are various ways to go about an extension. You can do various lengths of extensions and even change your site, island, or country. Will I extend? Probably not. Would I extend? Possibly. To be continued..?

Sunday Chess League (SCL)

So, it turns out a whole lot of people in the new cohort, as well as a few in my cohort, love chess. On all four island groups, hundreds of miles apart in the South Pacific Ocean, I have been running a chess league for Peace Corps Tonga Volunteers. Since it’s illegal to do anything on Sunday but eat and go to church, we’ve been playing then. Tomorrow marks week 10. The current scoreboard is:

Cam – 3

Jay – 3

Walter – 3

Songs

I’ve been very obsessed with the band “Wednesday” the last few months. They just released an album titled “BLEEDS”. I would heavily recommend listening to the track “Townies” and “Elderberry Wine”.. and possibly “Wasp” is you need to like rob a bank or something.

A few more bangers..

Voxtrot – Berlin Without Return

Modern Baseball – Apartment

Sidney Gish – Presumably Dead Arm (617 Sessions)

Yucky Duster – Gofer

 I hope you have a great week, Cam